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How The Hunger Games Should Have Ended

How The Hunger Games Should Have Ended

There they are – this year’s tributes. And what a fine bunch they are! Such excitement, such grace
and… what? What is that?! (Katniss and Peeta shriek in pain) -(Katniss) Oh, we’re still on fire!
-(Peeta) Somebody help us! -(Katniss) This wasn’t supposed to be like that!
-(Peeta) It hurts breathing! -(Katniss) Oh, it burns!
-(Peeta) I’m choking! (Katniss and Peeta shriek in pain) Well, it appears the odds aren’t in their favour. (both announcers laugh) Hunger Games! How the Hunger Games Should Have Ended Die! I don’t wanna win this game! Hey! Die! (humming happily) (singing) Painting camouflage! (announcer) What an exciting Hunger Games! Children are murdering each other left and right. What’s this? District 9 has found the mech-suit! Ow! My hand! Aaaaahh! -(mutts growl)
-(screaming) I’m getting eaten alive! Ow! -(Peeta) Ha ha! Alright!
-(Katniss) We won! -(Peeta) Two tributes from the same district, yeah!
-(Katniss) We’re the champions! -(Peeta) Yeah, we win! Whoo!
-(Katniss) Yeah! Later (microphone feedback) (announcer) Um…attention. There’s a slight rule change
regarding our previous rule change. The previous rule change has been revoked. Uh…there can only be one,
so you must kill one another. -What? You can’t do that!
-Yeah, it’s too late! We already won. You can’t change the rules
after the game is over. Stupid! (announcer) Ah, yes. Yes, we can. Um…you’ll just have to kill each other.
Now, uh, fight to the death! You fight to the death! (announcer) It doesn’t work like that. Now less talking and more killing each other. -What if we refuse to kill each other?
-Yeah! What do you think about that? (announcer) Just fight to the death please. We would rather commit
suicide than kill each other! And you wouldn’t let us do that.
You must have a victor, right? That’s right! We’ll pull a Romeo
and Juliet, cause we’re in love! (gags) Uh…yes, ’cause we are soooo in love. And we’re gonna eat these berries
if you don’t let us both win. Yeah. Here we go! (announcer) Go ahead. -We will.
-(announcer) Do it then. We’re gonna. (announcer) We’re waiting. One, two, three– -Ok, ok, it’s [inaudible], I don’t really love him.
-What?! He’s a nice guy and all, but I’m
not gonna commit suicide over it. I mean, have you seen Gale? Hottie! The end Hey, you guys ever think we should
use all this money and technology to actually solve the world’s problems? And world hunger? Save the rainforest? No? Just me? We’d rather kids fight to the death? Ok. Just thought I’d ask.

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