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Be The Warrior Not The Worrier – Fighting Anxiety & Fear | Angela Ceberano | TEDxBedminster

Be The Warrior Not The Worrier – Fighting Anxiety & Fear | Angela Ceberano | TEDxBedminster


Translator: Queenie Lee
Reviewer: Peter van de Ven I want to talk about anxiety. I have anxiety. I’ve always had anxiety. I was a born worrier. If I have nothing to worry about,
I’ll worry about that. So you can imagine
when the good people of TEDx reached out and invited me
to be a guest speaker here today, truth be told, I thought it was a joke, and then I freaked out. My thought process
went a little like this: [1] Wow! This is amazing; [2] Is this a joke?
They can’t be serious; [3] I can’t do this. There is no way. I hate public speaking.
Doesn’t everybody hate public speaking? [4] Actually, maybe I can do this;
and [5] Wow! This is amazing. This is amazing, being up here,
doing this talk, it is great. But you can see my thought process here. It went from really excited, to fearful,
back to excited again. And I think a lot of us
go through this thought process when we are presented with opportunities
that are outside our comfort zone. Being here on this stage,
on the other side of the world, is definitely outside my comfort zone. But I’m not just here
because I have anxiety. I’m here because the way
that I view my anxiety has changed. I now view my fears, my worries,
and my anxiety as a good thing, and I use it to my advantage. When anxiety is at its peak for me,
it can mean a number of things. Mostly, it can mean
a difficulty in sleeping; it can mean difficulty in eating; and it can mean sitting up in bed
at two, three, four a.m. in the morning, obsessing about the tiniest of details and role-playing different situations
or scenarios in my head about how the future
may or may not play out. Now, the ironic thing with me
is that in my professional life, I own and run a PR agency
back home in Australia. And when I put my work head on,
my professional head on, my anxiety and my fear,
it completely vanishes. I feel very strong and confident
in the work that I do, and so I have this struggle. I feel like I have
this dual personality thing going on because the way
that I am in my professional life is very different to how I am
in my personal life. And to be honest, I feel like
I’ve probably hidden behind my career for such a long time because if I’m working –
and I am a workaholic – if I’m working, it can mean I can avoid
going out to different social events, or I can avoid going out in general. And so I started
my own PR agency when I was 27, and many people told me that I couldn’t. It couldn’t be done,
and that I didn’t have enough experience. And for me, I think
there is a lot of power in “No.” And I live my life like this;
I get told “No” a lot. I remember being at school, and my teachers told me
that I probably wouldn’t amount to much, and I would certainly
struggle to go on to university. Let’s just say I was no scholar,
I was shit at school. (Laughter) When the teachers would tell me
these negative comments, it drove me to work harder
to not only prove them wrong but to get to where I
actually wanted to be. I did go on to university
and I graduated with honors. And then I went out
and scored my absolute dream job, which was working for the biggest
record company in the world. It was an incredible job, and I was the national
publicity manager there. I was working with all sorts
of bands and artists, anyone from the Foo Fighters –
one of my favorite bands – to people like Celine Dion. So it was very diverse,
and it was an incredible job. I was there for eight years, and then I started my own PR company. I’ve had my own PR company
for the last five years, and we’re going from strength to strength. Just recently I realized that my whole life
I’ve been fighting “No,” and I realized that I haven’t actually
been fighting my fears. and maybe this has something
to do with my anxiety. And so, I want to look
at fear for a moment. Now, research has shown that 40% of the things that we worry about never actually happen; 30% are in the past
and they can’t be helped; 12% involve the affairs of others, so it’s not even our business
to worry about them; 10% relate to sickness,
either real or imagined; so, that means that only 8%
of the things that we worry about are only ever likely to happen. There are two ways of looking at fear. One is to do absolutely nothing
and just remain in that bubble of comfort, and this is how I approached my fear:
I didn’t approach my fear. I rarely stepped outside that comfort zone and looked at the issues
that I was having in my personal life. All I did was work – I was a workaholic. I was comfortable working,
working, working, and I was comfortable
when I was in the office. But now, the way that I
approach fear is different. I take on fear like a warrior, and for me, this has given me
unlimited opportunities and also unlimited happiness, as well. So speaking of happiness, I want to speak
about my husband for a moment. This is my husband; his name is Phil. He is a professional musician,
and he’s a great guitarist, and he plays to thousands
of people in his professional life. But outside his work life,
he’s like a professional hobbyist as well. He has so much stuff going on in his life, from surfing, to cooking,
to gardening, to fishing. This guy has it all going on. My husband is the happiest person
that I have ever met, and it can’t just be
because he married me. I’m sure that plays
a really big role in his happiness, but that can’t just be it. So when I looked at my husband’s life, I realized that, hang on a minute, he’s conquering fear
on a pretty big level almost every day in his professional life. He goes out there, and he plays guitar
to thousands and thousands of people. But in his personal life
he is also attacking fear, too. I mean, the things
that he does would freak me out, I mean, he’d go surfing,
and he’s a karate expert. And so, I took inspiration
from my husband, and I thought, “OK, I’m going
to get myself a hobby, and I want my hobby
to address some of the fears that I’m having in my own life as well.” So I refer to this as my fear project. I created a hobby,
and it addressed one of my fears. So what was my fear? What was I scared of? Well, one of the things – there are lots of things I’m scared of – but just one of the things
that I was scared of was being in front of the camera. And for me, again, this is funny because in my professional life
that’s what I do for a living. I put other people in front of the camera; I put the spotlight on everybody else
that I’m working with. But when it came to me, well, that was a whole other thing. So, I created a YouTube channel,
and I created a YouTube channel because it would address my fear because I physically have to be
in front of the camera. I’m my own host on my YouTube channel. And secondly, it would give me this creative outlet
to get outside of my work head – because I was very much within my own head and very much focused
on work, work, work – and so it would give me a creative outlet to talk about something else
that I was passionate about. So what was I passionate about outside PR? Well, one of the things
that I’m passionate about – and I must admit I’m a little bit nervous
to talk about this at a TEDx Talk, but it’s all about addressing your fears – so one of the things
that I’m passionate about is designer handbags. (Laughter) Yes … You did not see that coming
at a TEDx Talk, did you? No, but it is materialistic, absolutely, and it’s superficial, I agree with you. It is, I’m guilty of it. Some people go skiing in Aspen for fun. I don’t have time for that. So, I buy designer handbags, and to me, they’re like
little pieces of art, and I love them. So on my YouTube channel, I talk about designer handbags,
talk about other things as well. I talk about fashion and travel,
and I do these really fun Q&A videos, where my viewers write in
and ask me questions, like: what is it like to be a girl boss? How can you afford a 3,000 dollar handbag? And how do you justify that
to your husband? So as you can see I’m really tackling the big issues
on my YouTube channel. (Laughter) But the greatest thing
in having this fear project is that it’s actually conquered
one of my fears in addressing them. And this is really the idea
that I want to get across today is thinking about the things that you worry about
or that make you anxious and creating a project
to tackle those fears head on. Now, my YouTube channel
has had hundreds of thousands of views, and that’s awesome. But in stepping outside my comfort zone and attacking one of my fears head on, like a warrior, has actually presented
a lot of amazing opportunities. In fact, the reason I’m here today
is because one of the TEDx organizers was a viewer on my YouTube channel. So being here was something
that I could never have imagined prior to tackling my fear. So now the greatest thing isn’t that I have thousands
of subscribers on YouTube channel, the greatest thing is that
in conquering one of my fears, my anxiety levels have actually decreased, and my happiness
has increased across the board, not only in my professional life
but also in my personal life, as well. I now like to refer to myself
as a fear fighter. This is really the idea
that I want to share today. It’s all about creating a fear project, the things that worry you,
make you anxious in your life, taking them head on
and becoming a fear fighter. When I stopped worrying
about everything in my life, my life got so much easier,
and my life got more productive. You’ll see in this photo,
I’m jumping up and down on a beach looking very happy and looking very free, and this is how I feel
when I’m conquering my fears. I don’t always look like this. I certainly did not look like this
before this TEDx Talk today. I guess you could say that this TEDx Talk
has been like a fear project for me because it’s certainly
outside my comfort zone. And when I feel anxious
or when I feel worried, I go ahead and I create
another fear project, and I will probably have
another 200 fear projects to go. My call to action is this: take on fear. Don’t always take “No” for an answer. Create fear projects
and become a fear fighter, and use fear to motivate you
and energize you to actually get on and do the things
that you want to do in your life. Be the warrior, not the worrier. Thank you. (Applause)

99 thoughts on “Be The Warrior Not The Worrier – Fighting Anxiety & Fear | Angela Ceberano | TEDxBedminster

  • Maybe she has some form of anxiety but I don't think she gets what it means to have true anxiety on regular basis. It is crippling enough to not allow you to perform in any aspect of your life and you need to fight it everyday just to go through the day. The way I fight it and I agree with her on that part – have people close to you that make you happy, motivate you and can be with you on your bad days. Create goals for things you fear and work on them.

  • I have anxiety in both professional and social settings. I just can’t escape it. I wish I had a mask to hide behind.

  • Last comment and I’ll never comment again. Ted talks are horrible and I’ll never watch another one. I just want to know if they get paid and if so how much?

  • I always tell people who ask that I was born stressed and worried. This video has helped me incredibly. I completely relate to the excitement, to the self-doubt, than back to the excitement of overcoming my anxiety and fear. Except, this happens usually when its too late and my opportunity has passed. This is definitely a video that must be rewatched and listened to it over and over again.

  • Maybe you go out of the concert zone and go out with me for a coffe and for i get more of you talking about you, dear Lady? The speech is great because of 1sec of that amazing useful statistics, the rest is useless.

  • I feel like most of the hate comments come from people struggling deeply with anxiety. It can be frustrating when someone calls being busy and having a stressful life an anxiety disorder. She doesn't relate much to real anxiety with panic attacks, and where it's so bad getting out of bed, and going to work is an accomplishment. Maybe she deals with this type of anxiety as well but she didn't get down to that level. However, her message was inspiring I just wish I could relate.

  • If I were the speaker, my confidence would run away from me because the audience were just too close to me. Couldn't they move further ?

  • I'm the Warrior Worrier. Nobody worries as much & as fiercely as I do. I will DEFEAT you with my warrior skills of worrying.

  • This is not real "anxiety" anxiety. This is daily and a mild anxiety. Bad anxiety won't let you do anything on both work, social life etc. That is something that should be medicated. Sorry, not a sincere talk.

  • It’s so hard to find someone similar to me. I know many people experience anxiety but my problem happens to be I’ve had anxiety for years and it’s gotten so debilitating since I was forced to work at a high stress level and social job at 16. Now every time I go to a part time job I feel like my life is ending the anxiety gets so bad. I don’t know how to make it stop. I dread the days I work for days. I technically need the money and a job but nothing I do works. I’m so exhausted and beaten down. If anyone has any solutions that have helped them please let me know!

  • I have plenty of anxiety that comes and goes. Some days I’m fine others im worried like now when it’s 4:21 am. I start University on the 20th of August and I have a constant worry that I am going to fail. In high school and middle/elementary I never failed a class. In fact I did relatively well I was an A B and sometime C student. I also worry that in university I may struggle to the point that I may lose my job and become jobless. I think my class schedule already conflicts with my work schedule. My family is willing to support me but I want to support myself. I am willing to dedicate 100% of my time to staying afloat and attending any tutoring to make sure I don’t do bad. I have to get rid of this Bad negative mentality and I really appreciate this TED talk. This I relate to and came close at home I’ve done plenty of research about college anxiety but there’s never a right way of overcoming it. I’m truth there the real issue may not exist but I’m doing this to myself.

  • Im trying to work for school but whenver im laying down before im gonna do the work I cant stop looking over my phone and I feel tired even though i havent done anything and I'm worrying and i feel tired

  • So guys I HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER
    but yeah I just learned to GET OVER MY FEARS and LIVE LIFE!
    No you can literally not leave the house without the world spinning, gasping for air, palpations sweating and feeling like you're either going to throw up, faint or the worst; break down into some delusional psychotic mess in front of the entire shop while everyone watches you.
    All you had to do was buy milk. And now you need a 2 hour nap after because you are shaking and mentally exhausted.
    That's social anxiety. If you don't have it it's very insulting to pretend to have it to be "edgy" or the "alternative kid". So frustrating to see people glamorise this into some inspirational life talk.

  • All I can hear and see is a women bragging about how successful she is. As a person suffering from at times severe anxiety she is so unrelatable. She has some trouble sleeping and worries a little in bed… but, when she goes to work she is of course brilliant. In other words, it does not really affect her life. Well, cry her a river. My reality is similar in that I rarely feel anxious at work, but it completely takes over the rest of my life. I'm just miserable and get suicidal thoughts. It feels like every day is a struggle to just keep up appearances and the next day everything will collapse. Sometimes I even wish for everything to collapse just so I don't have to struggle. I often wish and pray (even though I don't believe in god) to get a terminal disease. When I'm suffering from severe anxiety, that is such a comforting thought. Then I would not have to struggle any more. It would give me an excuse to commit suicide and be free from all the suffering. That is my reality.

  • So , to overcome my fear which is fighting against others , i have to create project where i walk to everyone and ask them if they want to fight , so i can get as much as possible fights and get use to it? , you may think this is normal , but when it comes to karate at competitions i could never fight with comfort cause i already have that inside my deamn brain even if it's secure and i know i won't get hurt , this is really standing between me and my goal

  • The thing is, a person with anxiety can be very different to another person who also suffers anxiety. You are who you are based entirely on what you experience in life, every single second of every single day, you are always changing very gradually as a result. That’s why no two people are the exact same. Then there are all of the many, many other things that go on in your brain that create what you are. You can listen to others but ultimately you know yourself better than anyone and you will do whatever you think is best for you even if it isn’t, unbeknownst to you, the best thing to do.

  • This anxiety is killing me. I'm a teacher and it's really hard. Next month i have to plan a sports day for the whole school and i have sleepless nights because of this.

  • People talking about anxiety and how to deal with that ,but most of them even have no idea what is that
    They just use these people as a tool or business.

  • For the people with serious anxiety issues looking for a solution on YouTube, I think you can start fixing your issues by seeking professional help.

    If you are looking for the magical answer to your anxiety issues, don’t watch this or any other YouTube video for that matter and go get some help.

    Call me insensitive, but a lot of you have been as well through your comments on this TEDx talk. You get what you give.

    I appreciated her talk related to work/professional-life struggles. Maybe calling it anxiety confused people’s expectations for this talk. I liked hearing about her personal experience since she’s a very successful business owner. Good job Angela!

  • I think anxiety is caring too much about what will happen to you or what people think of you. That’s been my experience with anxiety anyway. I get so worked up about what may happen because I think it matters absolutely. I build things way up and give them way too much importance. I’m not saying I have a cure for anxiety or that I’ve conquered it because I haven’t. But it’s just a theory of mine. Next time you’re in a the grip of an anxiety attack, just tell yourself that you’re caring too much and see what happens. See if it subsides or not. It may or it may not. Just something to try.

    I think we give things way too much value.

  • This the nan l love most and get married to but he never love me back so I think of having separation with him, which I have done.

  • She inspired me. You can't wait to get your anxiety under control before you act. You have to act in spite of it, while at the same time doing what you can to minimize it.

  • please lovely people can you answer this survey? its about anxiety, for a school project. it would mean so much to me. thank you<3 @t​

  • My anxiety is getting worse. Lately it’s manifesting in harsh physical symptoms. The right side of my body feels like it’s shutting down. My digestion is a mess, I have vision disturbance. Dizziness. Panic attacks. All on my right side. I’m yet to find a way of breaking free from it.

  • Try meditation, works wonders to clear the clustered mind of one who suffers with anxiety. Mediation and deep breathing are key.

  • Didn’t find this useful at all. This woman seems very full of herself and honestly, somewhat shallow. I don’t think she truly has an idea of what true anxiety is.

  • sooo what exactly is the main point of this TED Talk besides her talking about herself and her bag obsession for 11 minutes

  • If we could just transform into this "fear warrior" and magically overcome evrything then we all would. It's not as simple as that. This talk is superficial and barely grazes the surface of what anxiety really entails. I'm a great believer in pushing your comfort zone and tackling your mental health issues – but I want to watch talks that inspire constructive, realistic change, not somebody lamenting about how great and successful they are. Quite patronising, really.

  • Anxiety is a very complex condition and it impacts people in different ways. Not everyone is going to be helped by this video, but I do agree that if you have disabling fear/anxiety you should go see a mental health professional and possibly explore medications. The part of her talk that is very accurate is that without confronting your fears it has a way of ruining your life, costing you opportunities, happiness, and a sense of peace. If you cannot figure it out on your own, go seek professional help. At the end of the day, you deserve to be happy, authentic, and centered.

  • this isn't quite an anxiety disorder, think you should re-frame what this video is even addressing because the title is misleading

  • Phobias are irrational fears. I have a few phobias and I don’t think I’ll ever get over them. This lady was just nervous to get in front a camera, yet she has 26k subscribers on YouTube💀 she also works in PR, so I don’t think she really experienced the mental disorder of anxiety, she only had some basic fears that many experience, but was able to get over them so easily🙄

  • don't know what everyone's problem with the talk is. Okay, maybe it doesn't provide a magic solution for people with crippling anxiety, but there are a lot of positive ideas to take away from it.

  • I'm going to incorporate this hopefully it will be a success I will never know unless I try .

  • worry is not anxiety, it is OCD. The three things to cause it, negative events in their lives, their genetics, and their nutritional intake. The true definition of anxiety, will help people, but please lets understand the difference between anxiety and ocd.

  • Det handlar om att upptäcka risker, hot, förebygga säkerhet, samt att hitta tänkbara system, som förklaring, varningar som måste lösas. En del har sådant privat, andra i stora projekt utanför sig själva.

  • Okay first, I loved this video Ive been going through a really rough anxiety patch so I was looking for inspiration to help me. So firstly I loved her but she didnt actually tackle the real issues of anxiety and why its so tough and hard. I've had insomnia for 5 months now because of how bads my anxietys been. i dont remember the last time i have been able to sleep without any help of drugs or medicine. Its tough and its hard and people need to know the truth. We need a specker who can tell the truth.

  • i am 14 and i have anxiety..idk how to deal with it and I'm constantly embarrassed…sometimes if the teachers in school wanna talk to me I start crying and my face turns red for no reason and they probably think I'm crazy and that is the next problem…I care way too much about what others think of me so I avoid social contact (I am not shy) …Even though I hate being lonely…I'm a hot mess and I don't know what to do

  • Waste of time for someone with debilitating anxiety. I think she got this talk because she is beautiful and has a great accent.

  • After I graduated from college I got a job after a long time, but they fire me, actually I was forgetting a lot in that job and stressed, basically I wasn't good at it, but after they fire me I'm thinking about I will be poor and homeless person and I'm thinking of committing suicide because of that.
    I'm really fighting my emotions.
    Pray for me..

  • Wow how amazing! What a contribute to our lives this is. And great to see and Aussie on here 😁🇦🇺 thank you for this amazing life changing talk, with love from Melbourne.

  • Anxiety is a negative pre projection of the future, although the imagined thought may not be reality, they will be reaiity for us if we are not in the present moment. Then the mind thinking these imagined thoughts are reality (as it wont know the difference unless we guide it) it triggers a release of adrenalin to engage the body in fight or flight to protect us from the imagined threat which the mind thinks is real. So it is not anxiety that stresses the body but the minds reaction to protect us from the imagined thoughts. The only thing is though the imagined thoughts may be deeply buried in the limbic system from past trauma being projected onto todays current situations. This is why somebody driving too slow or breakng a cup can seems like the end of the world to some people. Sometimes facing anxiety reaction without knowing why they are happening can actually make the reaction worse.

  • This helps me because I have Anxiety.
    I couldnt get to sleep most nights. I took control over my Anxiety and kicked out so happiness could come back in.

  • I’m a 16 year old that recently started work in a golf shop. I constantly think about working because i am absolutely terrified of it. I feel that i am useless to the team working in the shop because i have only worked about 10 shifts there. I feel as if i should know lots more than i do at the moment even though i haven’t spent a lot of time at work. However when i heard on this talk that only 8% of things i worry about are likely to happen, i thought about my negative experiences i have had when working and overall .. i haven only had about 3 times where i haven’t known what to to in the situation.. i am working 5 days this next week and i am hoping that i will feel a lot more comfortable with it .. anyone that is interested in how it goes feel welcome to comment on this and i will get back to you after all my shifts are up and i will let you know how i feel 🙂

  • That power we feel when we fight anxiety and don’t let it bother us that feel good freedom is us before anxiety

  • I been suffering with panic attacks for 3 years I can't do anything or even travel my anxiety is getting out of control symptoms are heart palpitations shortness of breath,dry mouth my neck muscles get so tense I can't swallow or eat I'm so afraid of sleeping at night because I wake up gasping for air this feels horrible.

  • Charming as this lady is, I don't think she gets to the core of what worrying, anxiety, endless ruminating, fear are about. When talking about her husband she says how amazing he is to do all the things he does – and surely he sounds amazing – and how he gets up in front of thousands of people to perform. But she does not say that her husband suffers from fear or stage fright or paralysing nervous anxiety. Some nice ideas here but for those suffering from crippling anxiety something deeper is needed.

  • 1:44 EXACTLY what I’m doing right now… also still gotta say I’m actually subscribed to her channel and I was surprised to see her here! So proud of her ❤️

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